You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
