I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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