Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
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I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They have beer where we have blood.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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