PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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