There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
