Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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