perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
