The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
