We won't sleep together?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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