The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
