Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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