You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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