She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
