Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
