So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
