Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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