Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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