VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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