I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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