I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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