Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
