Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
