hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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