I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
