dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
