i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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