Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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