I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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