You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
