and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
