that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
two words: eviction party
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
