So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
