next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
