i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
