I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
