He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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