I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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