Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
