Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
