yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
