so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
