dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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