honey bunches of taint.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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