"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
