He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
