Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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