At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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