Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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