90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
