my shit smells like andre
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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