I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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