One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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