Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
