You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
did i walk over a car last night?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
