I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
