Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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