He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
