I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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