omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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