Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
