its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
