Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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