What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Screwed.edu
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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