i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
