Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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