that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
