dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
