WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
