So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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