thus making me awesome and them whores
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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