I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
